Sunday, October 19, 2014


We have tackled Monsters from film. The Cinema is not the only place where there are Boogedy Boos. TV monsters can haunt your dreams as well. So let’s explore my top seven scariest monsters of television. Did I get it right? Do you have an even better monster? As usual leave your choices in the comments section.

the peacocks from xfiles
Don't Look Under The Bed
The Peacocks // Home (X-Files): Let’s start with an oldie but a goodie from the territory of Mulder and Scully. Written by my favorite duo of Glen Morgan and James Wong, ‘Home’ introduces us to the Peacocks and by the gods are they absolutely terrifying. Sure on the outside they look like a couple of deformed farmers until you realize what they are keeping under the bed. Seriously, just thinking about that episode and the Peacocks gives me the heebie jeebies. Great episode and great monsters despite being incredibly disturbing.

weeping angels from doctor who
Don't Blink.
Weeping Angels // ‘Blink’ (Doctor Who):
As a Whovian you knew that the Weeping Angels would be on my list and they beat out the Silence just a little bit. Here is why. The Weeping Angels can be terrifying yes, but they don’t murder you. They take your time and to be honest isn’t that one of the things that scares us all…not having enough time or being taken from those you know and love. Of course there is that whole don’t blink thing. Or the fact that the Weeping Angels could be anything statue like. I keep thinking about the bobcat statue near my office or the dozens of other ones in town. Shiver. What about my cute little gargoyle Book ends…Don’t think about it. Don’t blink.

the gentlemen from buffy
Can't even Shout.  Can't Even cry.
The Gentlemen // ‘Hush’ (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) : I will always remember this episode. It was snowing and I almost missed a test at my University because I wanted to watch it all. The Gentlemen are of course automatically creepy because of their perma grins and languid way of moving (Doug Jones seriously does an amazing job as the lead gentleman), but the real reason they are terrifying is because they have stolen your ability to scream for help. You cannot shout ‘Danger’ to a passerby. You cannot scream for help. Oh and they want your heart. And they use scalpels and they have terrifying henchmen.

the parasites from the xfiles
Things should not go in ears. Certainly not worms.
The Parasites // ‘Ice’ (X-Files)
: We are headed back to the monsters of my adolescence with Mulder and Scully again. This episode is another by Glen Morgan and perhaps inspired by Carpenter’s The Thing at least in the way it isolates all of the characters. Yea a parasite that drives its host into murderous fits of rage. Why it is on my list? Because things go in ears that shouldn’t. I had nightmares for weeks because of Wrath of Khan and this just reminded me that parasitic worms should not go into ears. On top of the ugh inducing way that the parasite gets into its victims, the episode deals with not knowing who the enemy is and who is infected. I am now going to go put earmuffs on.

Don't Look in the Mirror
The Phantom // ‘Mirror Mirror’ (Amazing Stories)
: I had to look up the title of this one, but as a kiddo I was addicted to Amazing Stories. But then there were episodes that left me never wanting to look in a mirror again. There is something terrifying about looking in the mirror and something is behind you. You turn around and nothing was there. It is a trope that many horror films still use, but you have to admit it is unsettling. This episode (directed by Martin Scorcese I discover) is about a Stephen King like writer who claims that he cannot be scared. But then he starts seeing a monster in every mirror he comes across and each time it seems to be getting closer and closer and closer.

Dolls Shouldn't Be Creepy
The Doll // ‘The Inheritance’ (Friday the 13th – The Series)
: Another staple of my childhood along with Monsters, Tales from the Darkside, the Outer Limits, and Tales from the Crypt was Friday the 13th the series. If you haven’t seen the series it was about an antique shop full of things that could kill you. The lead characters would go and find the cursed object and bring it back. Now in this episode you have a creepy doll not unlike the one from the Twilight Zone or Chinga from the XFiles who has murderous intent. Now dolls are supposed to be innocent and childlike, not evil. This is why the clown doll was on the movie list. This is why I will only watch Annabelle in my home while clutching a stuffed animal. Of course the doll in the episode really likes to lead people into the murder and mayhem, but again dolls should not do that. Creepy, porcelain, dead, unmoving eyes of horror. Pft.

Eugene Tooms // ‘Tooms’ (X-Files)
: The X-Files was great with the monsters and even more so than Buffy or Who though you will see below that I mentioned a few more of the monsters from those two series. Eugene Tooms was terrifying when we first met him in the episode ‘Squeeze’ as he could fit into very small spaces and then kill and eat his victim’s livers. I liked this episode more than the first because we already know what Tooms can do and now that he has been released from the Sanatorium we know who he is going to go after. *shiver*

Honorable Mentions: The Silence (Doctor Who), The Gremlin (The Twilight Zone), Der Kinderstod (Buffy), The Vashta Nerada (Doctor Who), and Flukeman (X-Files)

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