Sunday, October 5, 2014


It is beginning to look a lot like Autumn around here. My garden is toast thanks to that lovely cold snap last week (low of 23 people at night) and the stores are filling up with Halloween goodness. As I sit here contemplating whether I want to try my 31 days of Halloween posts and trying to figure out if there are any horror films I want to see in the theatre, I started thinking about Monsters. What are the scariest monsters of film, tv, fiction, and video games? What terrified me as a child or gives me the heebie jeebies as an adult. We’re going to tackle film and television this week. Did I get it right? Do you have an even better monster? As usual leave your choices in the comments section.

Xenomorphs //Alien franchise
These baddies have to be on your list. Sure you have the adults, slick, dangerous hunters, but for me it has always been the face huggers and the chest bursters that fill me with dread. It’s one thing to be hunted by a Geiger monster, it is another to be impregnated with a Xenomorph embryo waiting until one day it will break through your chest and kill you. And then possibly do a little song and dance number as it skitters away. I love the Alien films, but they creep me out at the same time. Parasites, acid drooling Queen’s and a sort of helplessness…unless you are Ellen Ripley. Xenomorphs are the best and the worst to this day.

The Thing // The Thing
It’s an alien with the ability to morph into whatever creature it wants to. John Carpenter’s 1982 film gave me enough gore and horror to last a little bit with mutated dogs and a certain head that grows legs and skitters off. You feel for the cast. Cut off from the rest of the world, paranoid (Understandably so), and ultimately trapped with the Thing stalking you…yeah this is why I love the film. *shiver*

The Pale Man // Pan’s Labyrinth
The child devouring , eyes on hands creeper that Ofelia faces during one of her quests is terrifying. Brought to life by the oh so talented Doug Jones, he is the fiend who waits for his prey enticing them with a table full of sweets. It is a feast not many could resist. Sure he is blind technically and his skin hangs in folds, but don’t be lulled into a false sense of safety because his eyes aren’t on his head people, they are in his hands and when he holds them up to look at you…well you better start running, unless you want to be dinner.

The Clown Doll // Poltergeist
Sure it may not be your typical monster, but it haunted my nightmares for years. I mean clowns are already creepy and why on Earth would you have it staring at you from a chair across your bed. That’s just asking for trouble. Then when it disappears, don’t look for it. Move. To another country. Don’t wait. Just go. Now. Take nothing with you because it may be hiding in there. Trust me, it is better this way. The Clown doll is terrifying in its simplicity especially when it tries to kill you. Children’s toys should not try to kill you. Damn it Poltergeist, I am now officially creeped out. And yet I strangely want to watch the film. Maybe I will just skip the clown part. That is what skip forward is for right?

Gage // Pet Sematary
Again technically not a monster, but scary as F*&k. When Louis Creed loses his son he decides to bring his son back. But you should never do that because they never come back the same. The cat should have clued him in. “First I play with Judd, then mommy came, and I play with mommy. We play daddy, we had a awful good time! Now, I want to play with you...” Chills. Of course Gage’s version of playing involves slicing poor Judd’s Achilles and then biting out his throat and Mrs Creed didn’t fare much better.

Skesksis // The Dark Crystal
I know that technically it is not a horror film, but it could be if you are a little. When I think of creepy monsters the Skesksis are the first to come to mind. Half vulture, half…shiver..I don’t know what they are the stuff of nightmares. And The Chamberlain oh he takes the cake with his crooning and screechy voice. I feared for the Gelflings and for good reason.

Sadako // Ringu
In this film Reiko Asakawa is researching into a “Cursed Video”. Bad idea number one. Then she decides to watch said tape. Bad idea number two. Actually this whole film is about really bad ideas and one vengeful entity named Sadako. It’s the way Sadako moves, the way she looks…just everything. Between this and the Grudge, Japanese horror films kept me awake many a night.

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