Sunday, February 10, 2013
BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO
I have broken up with a lot of book series, tv shows, comic books, game consoles, musicians and video games. Even now as I contemplate leaving my roomies (because Miss Hailey is leaving me for the Pacific Northwest) and downsizing a bit I am even thinking about giving up some of my geekiness. Breakups are hard though. Unfortunately for them it’s not me, it really is you. No really…I have moved on. But moving on is hard. You think about all of the memories…hours of playing Space Channel 5, remembering how awesome Anita Blake was before she became a nympho, how CSI used to be exciting and not the same thing again and again or how much you loved that comic series before they decided that killing off your favorite character was a really good idea (NO, no it wasn’t). People change, you grow up and find other interests and sometimes your geeky loved just become obsolete.
I know you understand what I am talking about, so as a tribute to the despised holiday of Valentines Day (because why on Earth should you tell your loved one that you love them more on this day than any other) I have decided to share some of my geek breakups. Our geek loved come and go, but isn’t it hard to say goodbye?
BOOK SERIES: As an avid bibliophile I have fallen in love with many a fictional character or world. There have been many loves, but sometimes the relationship loses the excitement it once had. Things become repetitive, characters change or become stagnant. And sometimes you wonder why you even fell for them in the first place.
My most notable breakup was with miss Anita Blake. Oh how I once loved you. A strong, snarky and competent necromancer who used to…*gasp* solve crimes. I wanted to work out with you like Ronnie did. I wanted to go to Circus of the Damned or your fabulous St. Louis full of vampires, werewolves and other things that winked at you from the dark. And yes I wanted you to introduce me to at least one of the men in your life. But then you changed. You stopped being a necromancer for hire. You stopped being an intelligent, self-empowered woman. The mysteries I shared with you disappeared and so did the monsters. You became obsessed with sex. And while I fancy a good shag every now and then, you started shagging everything in sight. And I mean everything. You had a compulsion you said. I say you got boring. Luckily for you all of your lovers appeared to be out of GQ or Playgirl magazine, but I’m not that much of a voyeur. I was willing to share you with a triumvirate, but when your harem grew to be like 10 guys, all I did was shake my head in disappointment. You have a serious problem Anita, a problem that broke us up. Its an addiction and it has made you a shadow, and kind of a washed up porn star shadow, of your former self. I stopped sharing advnetures with you after Obsidian Butterfly and I don’t think we can ever get back together…like ever. I am just too disappointed in you.
Other series I have broken up with: Sookie Stackhouse, Morganville Vampires, the Otherworld series, Amelia Peabody and the Fear Street series (granted this last one was from 20 years ago). We had some great memories, but it is time to move on I am afraid.
GAMING: I am not ready to break up with my original Xbox or my DS yet, but better technology has us going on geeky little dates less and less. Eventually we will just grow out of one another. And lets face it the spark is almost gone with some of you. PS2 I am afraid the relationship has ended as has our little tryst Dreamcast. A girl only has so much of her time to share with her loves. We did have some great times though didn’t we? And PS3, I have been cheating on you with E’s 360 and unless we breathe some new life into you I may leave you for the next Xbox console this Christmas.
TV SHOWS: Remember when you had to be at home for your favorite tv show. You couldn’t do anything else and you looked forward to that beloved timeslot. And then, like the rest of your geek relationships, something went missing. My Winchester boys from Supernatural, you lost me. Eventually I watched every other week and then I was only reading a synopsis on io9 and not even watching the DVR’s version of your adventures. CSI, you were the original and I loved every little crime scene but when Grissom left so did I. Don’t worry I felt the same when Dr. Green left ER. BBC Being Human you broke my heart with Mitchell and the pain of that breakup that I so did not want was just too much. Sometimes we date only for a little bit before I realize the relationship isn’t going anywhere (this year’s mini dates included Elementary and Last Resort) Then again maybe I just handle the commitment anymore. Too many other loves in my life and for that I am sorry. When you make it on to Netflix and I have the flu, I am sure we can get together again.
Of course there are many other break ups in my life. Currently I am thinking about ending my pop culture posters relationship. While I quite enjoyed having the geeky household full of figures, and pop culture nods…I am kinda growing out of it. Need to switch things up a bit. And while I will keep some of you (Serenity, Secretary, Empire Records, Amelie, LotR), some of you may need to go (Bram Stokers Dracula, the Craft, Tank Girl, etc) But even those that I continue to “date” may be banished to the craft room or the computer room. And my figures…oh that’s going to be a hard one. Once, you were displayed proudly in all of your geekdom. Now you are just a box in the garage.
What have been your breakups of late?