As E and I watched a trailer for another Expendables I started thinking why isn’t there a female version as there are some bad ass chicks out there that I have looked up to throughout the years. And to be honest I would love it if they were on my side. I am going to go with the characters rather than the amazing actresses that play them because let’s face it I want Starbuck, Ripley, and Sarah. Here is my version of the Expendables.
Who: Ellen Ripley (Alien)
Played By: Sigourney Weaver
Why: She told the Xenomorphs to back the frak off and I love her for that. There is a strength to Ripley, but a vulnerability as well. She can be caretaker and bad ass at the same time. If I am running an awesome female merc team I would need someone to head it up. This would be my choice. Plus she’s tall like me.
Who: Sarah Connor (Terminator)
Played By: Linda Hamilton
Why: Anyone who has seen the Terminator franchise especially T2 understands why she needs to be on my team. I think she would work well with Ripley, maybe they could be friends and my leader does need a right hand. Seriously Sarah is amazing. And on her down time she can do tons of pull ups.
Who: Mallory Kane (Haywire)
Played By: Gina Carano
Why: Having a covert freelancer on the team would be great. Not only do I know that she can kick ass, but she’ll do the things that others will not. Which is why she would work well with my other freelancer/former assassin.
Who: Nikita (Nikita)
Played By: Maggie Q
Why: Nikita knows what it is like not only streetside, but also about shadowy corrupt organizations who build super assassins. *grin* At the core Nikita is a good guy and I would be silly not to have her join the crew. Mallory can be my bruiser (badaboom) and Nikita can be my ninja sniper (stealth).
Who: Kara “Starbuck” Thrace (Battlestar Galactica)
Played By: Katee Sackhoff
Why: I am going to need both a pilot and a wiseass because there is always at least one in the group. I need someone to bring the levity and the snark. She can teach me how to play Triad. And she can be our leaf on the wind (her aerial tactical skills are kind of bad ass). Plus drinking buddy.
Who: Letty Ortiz (Fast and the Furious)
Played By: Michelle Rodriguez
Why: If I am going to have someone who kicks ass in the air, I might as well have one who is kick ass on the ground. Letty is my fast and furious driver and mechanic. She also handles herself just peachy with the melee and has street connections that the other ladies do not.
Who: Parker (Leverage)
Played By: Beth Riesgraf
Why: Any proper team needs a thief. She is mine. I mean this the woman that stole the Hope Diamond just for fun. Parker has no fear and she is a little off center. I like that. I think we’d have fun.
Who: Leeloo (Fifth Element)
Played By: Milla Jovovich
Why: Supreme Being. Enough said.
In the sequels: Sarah (Chuck), Sydney Bristow (Alias) Hellen Mirren’s character from RED, Pam Grier’s Foxy Brown, and Hanna (Hanna).