SUNDAY SEVEN: FICTIONAL WEAPONS

This week we are talking about our favorite fictional weapons. You know you have yours. Sting, maybe a light saber (of course that would be one of my picks, but kind of a gimme so I am leaving it out), heck even maybe one of the mechs from the Upcoming Pacific Rim though a bit overkill I must say. The trick is you will be able to use this weapon with ease. So what are yours?

The Zorg ZF-1 Weapon Pod: Why I love it? The Fifth Element is one of my favorite films and in it there is a gun that can do pretty much anything. It is a net launcher, a freeze beam and a flamethrower, a machine gun, a rocket launcher, a poison dart gun and has tracer rounds. But whatever you do, do not hit the big red button at the bottom of the gun. It won’t be pretty. This is the weapon for the cant make up my mind when it comes to weapons sort of person like myself.

The Phaser: The hand held phaser from Star Trek can pretty much do anything. It can stun. It can kill. It can also heat up rocks and metal (handy when you need to do such things), or you know vaporize them, be used as a grenade when it overloads and could fit in a nice little holster at my waist.

The Point of View Gun: From the film version of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, the Point of View Gun was created by Deep thought before it began to ponder the Answer and for the Intergalactic Consortium of Angry Housewives, who were tired of ending every argument with their husbands with the phrase: "You just don't get it, do you?" Why it’s useful? Because it would cause everyone I shoot to see my point of view. I think that would be effective enough.

The M90 Indra:My favorite gun from the Mass Effect series, it is the only fully automatic sniper rifle and for this it is great fun both at a distance and up close. It has an extremely efficient heat-sink system that allows a surprisingly large number of shots to be fired before the weapon ejects its thermal clip. It is also very light which is nice. Plus it is oh so pretty.

Harry Potter’s Wand: He has the best wand of course, though admittedly I do like the look of Hermione’s with the vine crawling up it. With it I can do some crazy magic. Need a flashlight? Nope. How about some glasses repair? Make someone giggle? Turn their arm into jelly? Repel some dementors? It can do all of that. Plus as I said it looks pretty snazzy. I really wish I had a wand. It’s like an easy button, only stick shaped.

The Speaking Gun:For anyone who has read about John Taylor’s adventures in the Nightside understands why this would be a weapon to have. In fact it is almost too powerful to have and of course with something that powerful there are always side effects. The gun is pretty much is made up of flesh and bone (I envision it to be like the bone gun from existenz except fleshier and gooier) Infused with Lilith’s power and the ancient words that God used at the beginning of time to create the universe, "Let there be Light", when you fire it, it speaks the true name of whatever it is pointing at backwards therefore un-creating it. The problem with the gun is that it wants to destroy everything and pushes its will onto anyone who possesses the gun in the hopes that it can speak the true names of everything.

The Green Lantern Ring: Pretty unassuming for a weapon right? Not only is it a weapon (we’ll get to that later), but it can also be a universal translator, gives you a force field that would let me fly in space or you know search for the lost city of Atlantis. Other perks are advice, scan for energy signatures or objects (like my car keys) and is a pretty color. of course the main reason I would want it is because it gives the user control over the physical world as long as I have the willpower, strength and imagination to use it. In short it can be anything I want it to be and I have a really really big imagination.

Honorable Mention:the Noisy Cricket from Men In Black, The Colt from Supernatural, any of Hawkeye’s bows, The Dagger of Time from Prince of Persia and The Ebony Blade from the Marvel Universe.